Thursday, April 14, 2016
I just wanted to share a few facts about my father:
My dad's natural father, James Cairns, died when my father was a very young boy (7 or 8) leaving dad and his younger brother, Hugh, fatherless, and my grandmother (Jennie) a young widow.
My grandmother later married John Dempsey (my grandfather). John Dempsey immediately adopted my father and his brother, changing their last name from Cairns to Dempsey.
John and Jennie went on to have three more children (Pat, Mary, and Johnnie). All but my Uncle Hugh, pre-deceased my father.
A lifelong Catholic, my father attended Catholic school - from elementary through high school.
When my dad was eighteen, he tried to enlist in the United States Navy. They rejected him because he was "too skinny" . The recruiter told him to go home and eat as many banannas as he could stand to eat, and to come back again after he gained a few pounds. He did, and dad successfully enlisted in the Navy
My dad served as a radio man for four years aboard a submarine tender during the Korean War.
After the Navy, he returned home, met my mother (Barbara), and married.
Dad graduated from Seton Hall University, earning his Bachelors and Masters degrees while attending classes at night. He drove a laundry truck during the day to earn a living. Upon graduation, dad started a career in teaching.
My father taught at grades 5-7 at several schools in the Matawan School District; Cliffwood Elementary, Matawan Ave. Middle, Broad Street, Ravine Drive, and Lloyd Road Middle. He also served as the Adult School prinipal for several years.
Early in his career, Dad LOVED teaching. As the teaching profession changed and evolved, my father longed for the earlier, simplier times. He became somewhat disenchanted with the politics and bureaucracy of teaching, and retired after 30 years of service.
My parents had many close friends throughout their lives. As a child, I often went to sleep to the sound of my then-youthful parents laughing and carrying on with their friends.
Both my parents loved the shore. They traveled to Avalon and Stone Harbor whenever they could get away. They later joined me in Naples, Florida for the winter months. They had many friends in Naples, and spent the best times of their lives there.
My incredible mother, Barbara, died in 2002 of myelofibrosis (simmering leukemia). My parents were married for almost 45 years. My mom's passing left a giant hole in our family, and really took the "life" out of my father. He was really never the same.
My father spent the last several years of his life living with my sister Barbara and her husband Gary. The primary caregivers for my dad were his aide Marie, my sister Susan, and my niece Amanda. Together they provided wonderful care for my father.
Stephen R. Dempsey passed away as peacefully as one can hope for - at home, in his bed, and surrounded by people who cared about him. He is survived by his three children, Stephen (Shannon), Barbara (Gary), and Susan (Lou). He leaves behind six grandchildren (James, Kristi, Amanda, Christopher, Jack, and PJ), and five great grandchildren.
He had many lifelong friends, Joe Romano, Gene and Helgi Carr, Marge and Kevin Gallagher, Dave and Jane Connelly, and many others. Thank you all for your friendship over the years.
My father was a good man - not perfect, mind you - but I think he always tried his best.. He touched many people's lives - particularly those of his students.
